Why I Do Not Go to Church

Anyone who has ever tried to discuss religion with a nonbeliever has at some point encountered the confession, “I know I should go to church, but I just can’t get into that church thing.” Usually the confession follows an invitation to “go to church with me.”

I do not go to church. I haven’t gone to church in roughly ten years. Frankly, going to church just doesn’t get it for me. That doesn’t mean that I am not involved with a church family. I am. I am even part of the regular Sunday worship.

I play bass (badly) in the praise band and I look forward to Sundays. I can even say there have been times when I didn’t feel like going but after I was there, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.

But I do not go to church. Going to church is a really passive activity. Being part of a church is not.

Think of it this way. People go to concerts. Some go to several concerts a year. But at no point does going to concerts make them part of the band. You can go to concerts all you want, but going to concerts, though it may move you and inspire you, will never make you a musician.

When I was going to church on a regular basis, I felt the need to be entertained, or inspired, or even moved by the experience. I judged a service by what I got out of it. And if I didn’t get anything out of it – the music was not to my liking, or the sermon seemed dry – I could critique the service or even stop going and feel justified. (Full disclosure: I was sometimes like Simon on American Idol. They let me come back anyway.)

Then I was asked to lead a small group for Rick Warren called 40 Days of Purpose. In the course of the 40 days, I discovered that my entire purpose for being there on Sunday wasn’t to get something out of the service, but to put something in. And the biggest something I needed to put in was myself.

I realized that even though I was part of the church leadership and even taught a Sunday School class, I was still just going to church. And at that point I resolved to stop going and to start being. I joined the band – literally. But it wasn’t joining the church band that made me part of the experience, but my realization that the church was my family and that Sundays were more like going home to my dad’s than like going to a performance.

All who are part of the church bring something to the table – spiritual potluck if you will. First, we bring our hearts to God. We bring praise. We bring worship. We bring an eagerness to know the people around us and to work together with them for the good of the family. We bring a hunger for hearing the Word and sharing the Word.

The heart of the matter isn’t what we get out of the service, but what God gets out of it. If we are going to church, we expect God to somehow pour something into us just because we are there. That isn’t how it works. When we pour ourselves into service, God gets worship and praise. Then He fills us in response.

Church goers are visitors – even when their names are on the roster. Those who are actively engaged in the life of the church are part of God’s family. If church goers stop going, they are missed for a while, but not for long. When members leave, there is a hole in the fabric of the church. The family has been fragmented.

And that is why I do not go to church.